Ah kiddies.....it's been a long long time, what a summer, autumn, and winter.
Ethier and Kemp emerged, Manny turned out to be pregnant, and the McCourts got a divorce. I traveled across the world in search of some kind of sanity. Alas.....nowhere to be found.
Since the Dodgers are in divorce hell and taking a look from broken down players who were never good when they were not injured, '88 Dodgers Cresting A Hill has become "The Masoli Times." Why you ask? Is it because the Dodgers suck? No. Look they can replace Randy Wolf rather easily and then make upgrades at midseason when the Dodgers are either sold or solely the property of one insane millionaire or another.
No the real reason for the name change is the emergence of the Oregon Ducks as the Best Team in the Pac-10, the best conference. Last years Ducks went 9-3 and upset an overrated Oklahoma State team and their passionate affair with firearms. It was great, truly great.
But much like the original Star Wars, better things would come in the sequel. It wouldn't be easy: one of our heroes would be frozen in carbonite for justly punching some dumbass from Idaho. We would face the unstoppable force of Toby Gerhart. But along the way we would expose "#6" Cal, start beating the shit out of USC before it was cool, snap the nations longest winning streak, and beat an Oregon State team which has earned my respect.....as well as additional hatred.
Oh the Dodgers will still be a big part of the future of this site.....if there is a future. I don't if you've noticed my non-existent audience that I haven't posted in oh 8 months. I'm just saying that this:
I'm not going to tolerate this Steve Lyons crap......eventually the point is going to come where this 81 year old national treasure is going to want to spend more time on the golf course acing holes and living the retired life than calling baseball. A bald eagle will cry on that day.
So stem cells, human cloning, black magic, something......he needs to live forever and call the Dodgers forever.
"We talking about practice." Just keep repeating it until it seems ridiculous to even be talking about it.
1. Jason Schmidt: ""I just try to get up there on the mound and not think about Opening Day or five days from then. I'm thinking of eventually getting in a game, getting in a game in L.A. and pitching in the big leagues. There's no set timetable."
Actually, that's a damn good Zen-like approach to recovering from an injury. This of course is not what you say to the press however as it makes you seem like an overpaid disaster rather than a hardworking pitcher looking to get back out in the mound. GRADE: C-
WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID: I'm sorry I've become Darren Driefort.
2. Julian Tavarez on his new employers, the Washington Nationals: "When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you're just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me."
Wow......not only does this have a classless, disturbing sexual metaphor, it's also a confusing classless, disturbing sexual metaphor. And it insults your employer. On second thought who is interviewing a fringe journeyman reliever? GRADE: F
WHAT HE SHOULD HAVE SAID: Nothing....absolutely nothing.
3. Duaner Sanchez on his new employers, the San Diego Padres and their ballpark: "To see a couple of teams were interested in me was great. I played with the Dodgers before (2004-05), and I loved playing in California. That was one of the main reasons I signed here. And I heard it was a good group of players. I love it there, (PETCO Park) you're not going to find a lot of places like that anymore."
Bland, boring, positive, and forgettable. GRADE: A+
4. A-Rod Photo
Okay so A-Rod is now approaching a Bondsian level of detachment from reality. On some level, I am deeply, deeply concerned for A-Rod's mental health right now. Seriously, he's on a Lady Macbeth like decent into madness.
WHAT HE SHOULD HAVE DONE:
This: Serious A-Rod.....you're an admitted drug user, everyone knows you think you're bigger than Jesus, so why not? Look for A-Rod to hook up with a Japanese conceptual artist and go solo.....2 great albums, 2 good ones, and a mixed bag.
The Dodgers defeated the Brewers today, bring there meaningless spring training record up to 9-6. Kershaw struggled a little bit, and this would be cause for concern if he were not to make a minimum of at least three or (probably) four more starts this spring.
People.....the Dodgers have 22 spring training games remaining! Last year they played a total of 33, this year they play 37. Why have 4 extra games? Well I don't know, but spring training seems absurdly long this year. Pitchers and catchers reported on Valentines Day and Opening Day is April 7.
So yeah....I think concerns about Manny not being ready are a little overblown at this point. Manny walked twice, singled once, and then joked his timing "sucked."
Headline in today's Boston Globe: MANNY WALKS TO SLOW TO FIRST BASE AFTER 4TH BALL
In the meantime, MSTI has launched a campaign to save the Vincent Chase of utility players, and as usual, it means ragging on Juan Pierre. Given the recent Manny stuff going down in Boston, I want to see Juan Pierre moved to Boston to test whether the Red Sox will love him for some bizarre reason. It could happen: remember how much Red Sox fans are totally in love with Dave Roberts for that steal.
How could Davey Johnson lead such a talented team to underachieving? Oh wait...
Also.....Jake Peavy is a traitor. 14.40 against Canada and Puerto Rico? At least he won't be giving up 18 hits to the Dutch tomorrow when America is uncerimoniously eliminated from the World Baseball Classic. Trust me people, it's happening because these players just don't care.
So I say that next time we replace the baseball players with American lady pop stars. I'm so-so on Katy Perry's music, but I'm pretty damn sure she could shut down the Dutch lineup better than Peavy could.
Katy Perry: 4.1 IP, 3 H, BB, ER, 4 K Jake Peavy: 2IP, 6 H, 3 BB, 6 ER, 2 K
Because my understanding is that generally it's a bad thing.
But apparently Jonathan "Riverdance" Papelbon believes that Manny was a cancer on the Red Sox last year and that he needed to be removed.
Folks, for a moment, let's speak about what it means to be a "cancer" on a team. For me an essential element of that is sucking. For example Barry Bonds was unquestionably a poor teammate and a lousy human being.....but don't nobody call him a cancer because in his drug enhanced super form he crushed a helluva a lot pitches and made the Giants better.
The Dodgers have had a number of cancerous players over the last ten or so years. Raul Mondesi's meltdown comes to mind....remember in 1999 he started sucking. Milton Bradley in 2005 is another example, his numbers slip and suddenly everyone is talking about how out of control he is. Note that people really didn't turn on Bradley until 2005, his insane behavior was tolerated when the Dodgers were a 2004 playoff team.
So let's go over this one more time: Manny hit .377 for the Red Sox in the month of July. He led a team which hadn't won a World Series in 86 years to two World Series sweeps in 4 seasons. If that's cancer, it's gotta be one of those tumors that give you superpowers like in the awful John Travolta movie Phenomenon.
This will be the only time ever John Travolta and Manny Ramirez will be compared
As Mike Scioscia's Tragic Illness noted, Papelbon also showed remarkable sensitivity in regards to his teammate Jon Lester who actually had cancer. Papelbon respects the game and his teammates so much that he carefully stored the winning ball from the 2007 World Series in a place where his bulldog destroyed it and then bragged about it to the press.
In comparison, Manny looks absolutely golden. He has "moved on" and has no comment in response to Papelbon. If Papelbon's goal is to make Manny look better, well mission accomplished. I'm sure the comments will serve the Red Sox well when they face the Dodgers exactly zero times this year.
Ultimately it begs the question to me: when are the Red Sox going to stop being so damn bitter about everything?
Myself on Manny yesterday: "Quite frankly he should focus on bunting and legging it out ala Major League, because I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing he can’t do offensively."
It's Day 3 of '88 Dodgers Cresting A Hill and already I'm having an influence.
The San Francisco treat and bachelor staple Rice-A-Roni has engaged in deceptive practices. “20% More” is a lie! What does this have to do with the Giants? Read on!
Scientifically proven baby!
Infield
Well the Giants infield at least resembles that of a major league team. Hell, Edgar Renteria has even played in some meaningful games.
Travis Ishikawa reminds me a little bit like Dave “Professional Pinch Hitter” Hansen: he’ll get some starting time early in his career but his best use is as a bench player. His stats are a pretty slim right now in terms of sample size, but he has hit well with runners in scoring position. I’m guessing he gets platooned with Rich Aurelia or at least benched against hard throwing lefties. 1B: Below average.
At second look for the Giants to go with Emmanuel Burris, at least if they’re smart. Burris is the epitome of the high .270’s hitter with no real pop, but he does walk at a decent rate and doesn’t K a lot. At best he’s Orlando Hudson in Toronto. 2B: Below Average.
At short, we get the Giants big acquisition of the offseason, the veteran Edgar Renteria. Renteria has made a career out of being slightly below average for three years or so and then posting above average numbers for a season (2003 St. Louis, 2007 Atlanta) to keep his value up. While he is an upgrade over Omar Vizquel, that’s not saying much, and Renteria has the advantage of playing a position that isn’t exactly stacked. SS: Average.
Third base would be the lone potential bright spot on the infield with converted catcher Pablo Sandoval manning the hot corner. Yes he did hit .345 in limited action last year with the club, and I hear good things about his abilities, but I don’t think he’s particularly seasoned and he did show some signs of regression as the season concluded. The Giants should be happy if he hits .280 with around 15 homers, and adjusts well to the corner. 3B: Average.
Outfield
Left field is manned by Fred Lewis, a decent yet not remarkable player. He will likely hit leadoff for the Giants and his near .350 OBP and decent speed will fit quite nicely there despite his free swinging ways. Lewis is 28, so look for this to be about the cap of his performance. LF: Below Average.
In center the Giants have the overrated Aaron Rowand. I honestly believe that had Rowand not broken his nose on that catch against the Mets, there’s no way he gets the deal he got, and as much as I despise Andruw Jones, at least we did not sign Rowand to a five year deal, 60 million dollar deal. Rowand strikes out to much and is allergic to walks. He will never hit for power in San Francisco like he did in Philly. Look for Rowand to look more like the offensive equivalent of Barry Zito. CF: Below Average.
Randy Winn rounds out the Giants outfield. Winn is a slightly above average player who would work well as a complimentary player (that is to say playing outfield with two superstars). Unfortunately for Winn, that’s not the case in San Francisco this year, and at 34 he’s topped off. Still he’s decent. RF: Average.
Catcher
Bengie Molina ironically had a high OPS than Russell Martin last year despite the fact he is a far inferior player at this point in his career. Molina is rapidly approaching the point where catchers just fall apart, so I think last year was his swan song. Remember that the Giants can always spell Molina with Sandoval or moved Sandoval behind the plate on a permanent basis if they find a corner guy. C: Below average….and declining quickly.
Rotation
Now here is where it gets good for the Giants. As much as I wish Tim Lincecum will fall apart due to injury or fatigue, I just don’t see it happening, and the Cy Young Award winner will be good again this year. The problem is if Lincecum does regress slightly (likely I think) to say 3.15 ERA or so, well then he goes from winning 18 games to maybe 12.I’m not a fan of how the Giants have used Lincecum so far (well as a Dodger fan I applaud their reckless use of their ace) and I think his star might fade sometime in the future, although not the immediate future.
You do not impress me Matt Cain!
Following Lincecum is Matt Cain. ’88 Dodgers Cresting A Hill is not impressed by you Matt Cain. You’re numbers are regressing: strikeouts are going down, hits and walks are going up, you’ve logged a lot of innings for a 24 year old, and you’re lifetime 0-6 vs. the Dodgers. In a way you’re the Gotham mob and Lincecum is the Joker….you looked a lot more intimidating ‘til a real criminal mastermind showed up. Look for Cain to post something around 4.20 ERA and be used as trade bait the whole season long.
Randy Johnson. The Big Unit is crazy enough to care about winning as many games as possible rather than simply reaching 300 wins. Injuries are going to be a concern, but Johnson figures to be at least an average to below average pitcher. Look for him to pile up a ton of K’s against the D-Backs and win his 300th.
Barry Zito is a little too easy to bash these days. (As a buddy of mine put it: 2002: Cy Young and Alyssa Milano, 2008: 5+ ERA and Paris Hilton, 2011: Released and Amy Winehouse?) I think a little bit of improvement from Zito can be expected but I recently heard one Giant official refer to him as something akin to an ace which I’m sure he is for some Bay Area coach pitch team.
Jonathan Sanchez actually pitched quite well until the second half (or perhaps reality) set in. There’s some upside here, but not tremendous.
Rotation: Very Good……although not as good as some people think.
"I just wasn't made for these times.....or the closer role"
Bullpen:There are some bright spots here like Yabu, but overall this group is pretty average at best. I’m definitely not sold on Brian Wilson as closer, although Pet Sounds is a pretty brilliant album.Bullpen: Average at best.
Bench:I would evaluate the Giants bench but unbelievably I do have better things to do, and since this and the lineup is so interchangeable. Bench: Below average.
Scenarios are from a Dodger perspective.
BEST CASE SCENARIO:Lincecum regresses significantly, Johnson pitches like he did with the Yankees, Molina hits the wall, and the Giants lose 100+ games. Nancy Pelosi stimulus money leads San Francisco to engage in a city wide project to level off SF instead of living on an 85 degree tilt like they do now. The jury convicts Bonds despite poor prosecution from the get go.
'88 Dodgers Cresting A Hill drives a manual transmission, so that's money well spent.
WORST CASE SCENARIO: Everyone pitches well, the offense coughs up some more runs than expected, the Giants deal for a real bat and look to finish around .500. Manny Ramirez is bitten by a shark while swimming back fro Alcatraz. Bonds is elected mayor.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN:Like the above Rice-A-Roni, the Giants may look 20% better but are essentially the same team. Look for them to win 72-77 and enjoy Manny hitting some splash hits!
